Are you trying to get back on track after facing a setback?
Maybe you’re recovering from an illness. A failed exam. Burnout at work. Maybe you’re facing depression for no obvious reason. There are a million different reasons why you might be struggling right now. Setbacks come in all shapes and forms.
And getting back up after you’ve been knocked down is tough. Really tough.
It won’t feel like this forever. Hang in there.
I’ve put together five actions that help me recover from setbacks. I hope they can help you too, or, at least inspire you to create your own plan.
I’m actually using these actions right now as I try to recover from my latest setback…or, rather, a series of unfortunate events that included food poisoning, stress at work, and an attack from a neighbor’s dog that got loose. I’m physically and mentally starting to heal, but it’s a work in progress.
So, if you’re like me and recovering from a setback right now, take a deep breath and read on. You can do this. <3
1. Be kind to yourself
Don’t beat yourself up if you feel like you aren’t “recovering fast enough”.
Unless, of course, that’s somehow a motivator for you to get back up again. In that case, just ignore this section if that’s working out for you. Go you. Though, being kinder to yourself is probably something you should consider trying out someday.
What does being kind to yourself look like? It’s allowing yourself some space to heal that’s free of negative thoughts or judgments. It’s letting go of “what ifs”.
It takes time for your body to recover after illness or injury. It takes time to emotionally process intense feelings.
Don’t fall into the trap of comparing your recovery to someone else’s. Don’t criticize yourself for any feelings that you’re experiencing. Those judgy thoughts aren’t helping you recover, so don’t even bother with them!
I know, easier said than done.
So, if you’re struggling to be kind to yourself, consider the following:
- Practice self-compassion (more at positivepsychology.com)
- Rebuild your self-confidence
- Learn to reframe your mindset (more at verywellmind.com)
- And if you hate the stereotypical self-help advice and you need some more humor and realism, check out Mark Manson’s ‘Steps to Survive the Worst Moments of Your Life’
What can you do today to be kinder to yourself? Do you need to cry it out without judgment? Write down what you’re grateful for? Find a reason to laugh? Allow yourself to punch something (that you won’t regret punching later)?
2. What do you need?
Focus on what you need right now. What do you need to survive today? What could help you recover? What will help motivate you? What may help you feel more energized? Alternatively, what do you need to stop doing? What do you need to ‘let go’ of?
Be real with yourself.
There are no right or wrong answers here. Just don’t give up on yourself. You matter. You will recover, even if your new ‘normal’ looks a bit different than before. As Lincoln said, “this too shall pass”.
Here are some activities that can help you answer this question:
- Pretend this is happening to a friend. What advice would you give them?
- Make a “survival mode” list. You can break this into two parts:
- First, focus on today. What do you need to survive today?
- Then, ask yourself what you could do today (or avoid today) that would make tomorrow a better day.
- Perform some meditation or breathing exercises to calm your mind.
- Journal, doodle, or create a mindmap to get some ideas flowing.
- Talk it out with a trusted friend.
Maybe your list includes seeking help from a professional like a doctor, counselor, or therapist. If you’re in college right now, your school might offer free medical services or therapy sessions. Similarly, if you’re an employee, your work may offer support via an employee assistance program. Don’t be afraid (or too stubborn) to ask for help.
3. Rebuild beneficial routines
Setbacks have a tendency to disrupt our normal, healthy routines. And yet, those routines are the very thing that can help prevent that setback from turning into an out-of-control, downward spiral.
So, if your routine is already off-kilter, focus on re-establishing your most basic routines first. Get out of bed. Wash your face. Brush your teeth. Change out of your pajamas…you get the idea.
Go through the motions, even if you aren’t feeling it.
Just like physical therapy exercises help you recover faster after surgery, completing your daily routines can help you get back on track after a setback.
What healthy routines do you need to rebuild? Are there any new habits you need to build?
You don’t need to do everything all at once, so which routines or habits should you start to incorporate today? What will you add in tomorrow?
It can help to track these routines and habits via an app or on a piece of paper. I like using Habitica because it has a social and gaming element to tracking habits, but there are a ton of other habit trackers out there too.
If you want to learn more about building habits, there are a ton of helpful books, like Atomic Habits, out there, as well as free, quick-read articles like this one from Psychology Today.
4. Start moving
Movement is so important, especially when recovering from a setback. It’s even embedded into the things we say after facing a setback.
I need to move forward.
I need to get back on track.
I need to bounce back.
Whether consciously or subconsciously, we know we can’t remain stagnant. We can’t lie in bed forever binge-watching Netflix (as nice as that sounds). We need to move.
So, get moving and keep moving!
The amount of movement you need today will completely depend on you and your current situation. Maybe it’s ten minutes of stretching, folding laundry, or running an errand. Maybe it’s a long hike. Maybe it’s visiting with a friend in a new cafe. You decide.
Movement creates a sense of accomplishment and momentum that will help you keep going.
My go-to movements are often walking in nature or doing a Yoga with Adrienne video. Both options can vary from gentle to vigorous, and both tend to help me both physically and mentally.
The key here is to find what feels good for you. What kind of movement will you add into your life today?
5. Surround yourself with supportive people
Having a supportive network around you can help you get back on track faster.
Friends, family, coaches, religious leaders, doctors, therapists, mentors… you have a lot of options depending on what you need today.
Don’t feel like talking to anyone? Find supportive and inspirational social media channels. I know social media sometimes has a bad rap. But, social media has its benefits too. Find a community that supports you in whatever you’re dealing with right now. Or scroll through a channel with inspirational stories or quotes. Did you know JK Rowling’s Harry Potter manuscript was rejected 12 times before a publisher finally picked it up? There’s something comforting about learning what challenges ‘successful’ people have dealt with.
Alternatively, consider finding an accountability partner. An accountability partner (or accountability group) is there to provide encouragement and external motivation. This is a two-way street, so, in return, you do the same for your partner.
You can find an accountability partner just about anywhere, but an online community may be the quickest way. I met my accountability partner on Habitica a while back. We check in with each other nearly every day to encourage each other to stay productive. She’s helped me recover from various setbacks simply by being there for our (nearly) daily check-ins.
You can do this
If you’re reading this, it means you’re alive. And that’s amazing. Maybe it doesn’t feel amazing right now, and that’s okay. You will get through today. You’re learning, not failing. You’re adapting, not giving up.
Keep asking yourself what you need. What could you do (or not do!) now to help make tomorrow a better day? Be kind, but also be honest.
Take time to reflect. What’s working well for you? What isn’t? File these lessons away and pull them out again when you come across your next hurdle.
Life will always find ways to challenge you. But you are strong. You’re learning not just how to cope in a tough situation, but also how to pick yourself up and conquer your next challenge. And the next one after that.
You’ve got this. Keep going.
